Sunday, May 18, 2008

Since Jace



Thursday, my wife gave birth to our 21 ½ “, 7 lb., 12 oz. son we named Jace (means “God is my salvation”) David Lee. You guessed it! My life has changed…

Surreal in a way- maybe I was expecting to break down weeping when he was born, but… that didn’t happen. Yeah, consideration and awe at God’s creation, very personal, attached to me…, that has happened! Sensing that words need to express what I’m going through has brought me to this entry. So, here are some thoughts:

I’m profoundly aware of my humanness, my wife’s, my son’s, the caregiver’s, family, and I revel in it. Like, it really is ok to God.:) I’m seeing beauty in humanity in a whole new way.

Driving my wife and son home from the hospital, with greater sensitivity to how abruptly I stopped, accelerated or dodged bumps with the Rav4. Now, acutely aware of precious cargo.

Mowing the lawn upon arrival from the hospital- thanking God for someone to pour my life into. Asking God for the wherewithal to be a great model of walking in godliness for my son.

Passing my office, knowing I must clean it up. Jace will never learn order and efficiency from its arrangement.

Attuned ears to what he’s communicating. Greater sensitivity to how I touch, speak, listen, empathize, and offer feedback.

One “tight” companion- a baby monitor!

And, so far the music I’ve listened to since returning home is 25 Baby Favorites, Bed Time Prayers Lullabies and Peaceful Worship, The Praise Baby Collection, and Baby Mozart.

Overwhelming sense of gratitude for a lovely wife, who would give anything for our son. She converses and reads acquiring practical tips and strategies for parenting, laying out plans for where Jace should be after week 1, month 1, etc…

A new sense of “God, what are you teaching me through this boy?!”