Rose Colored Glasses

Gwyneth, my second-born, is my two-year-old daughter. At times it is difficult to see the beauty in her active lifestyle without knowing her motivation. She really likes to serve and help, and she’ll go for it without asking. Today, she found all the dirty, separated laundry in the hallway and decided to distribute it back into the laundry baskets. The dirty whites went back in her top drawer.  She’ll bring me the wrong pair of shoes, takeoff her clothes when we mention a bath, even though we intend to bathe her two hours later.  She’ll bring her brother’s shoes for him to get dressed, even if they are ones he or I never intended for him to wear.  When I have a pressing and important email, she’ll initiate her baby love for my attention. Her gestures are beautiful because we know she serves from love in her heart. As a dad, I view her differently from someone who is not my flesh and blood. But, sometimes her desire to help and her initiative, at best, can be frustrating and bothersome.

We deal gracefully with her routine interruptions because we know her motivation and her pure intent.

A prayer stirs in my own heart: that God would view me with rose-colored glasses when my performance is less than desirable, but my heart is true. A verse from Scripture comes to mind:

“… He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men’s hearts. At that time each will receive his praise from God.” 1 Corinthians 4: 5b NIV

Earlier in history, when God sent His prophet Samuel to choose a king (known as the greatest in Israel’s history), He gave him some instructions. God told him not to be influenced by the outward appearance of David since God looks at the heart. He knows the motives and intentions of every action.

When Gwyneth is eighteen, my questioning her motives or actions that frustrate me may be in order. For now,  I choose to rejoice in her pure heart. Cause like I said, “As a daughter, I see her differently.” I think God does the same with me when He sees my heart. That shouldn’t be a license for irresponsible living though. Eventually, my actions need to fall in line, because my motivations and intentions tend  to follow the heart’s path.

When I was in college, and that was quite a while ago, there was a song that was popular in the Christian contemporary world. Wayne Watson wrote a song called, “Rose Colored Glasses” and these are the words to the chorus:

                             “His gaze always passes thru rose colored glasses,

                                       Every time He looks on my heart,

                                       And thru love's forgiveness,

                                       Thru purity's fire,

                                      I am my God's desire.”

Thankful for a Father like that…

Hunger/Fulfillment

Mid-January, and there are still remnants of Christmas candy around the house!  Even though a few morsels remain, the peanut brittle, fruitcake, delights from a Harry & David gift box, and a myriad of chocolate confections no longer clutter the kitchen counter. I was even craving a peanut cluster yesterday… Well, not quite that strong, but I would have eaten one if it was on the counter.

Amidst this type of abundance from the holidays, I came across a verse of Scripture-

“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they will be filled.” Matthew 5:6 NIV

I paused when I pulled this verse from a promise box that sits next to my bathroom sink.

Some questions immediately came to mind that morning.  “On a scale from 1 to 10, how hungry are you for righteousness?” “By the way, do you even have a hunger for a holy life?”

Honestly, when I thought about my hunger for “righteousness” on a 10- point scale, that morning I was at a 3.

I made sure I looked up some key words in this verse to mine out the true meaning behind what was written. Happy is a person who craves to live a virtuous, pure life -- a life that is full of integrity, in one’s thoughts and actions. Why?  Because, a person will be satisfied and fulfilled when his/her desire for righteousness is fervent.

Maybe you have noticed that when your hunger for righteousness is low, other desires begin to nudge your focus from True North.  You know -- the appetites for ambition, feeling significance or importance, the desire for influence, for fame, for money, or for someone to hear your point of view, to lust, etc…

“God, I don’t have a hunger for you.  Why is that?” The transparent confession was coupled with the question, “Why?” And, one step further,  “How do I get this hunger? ”Sometimes it is definitely there, but that day…hmm…, well, not so much.

“Ask Me for it.”

Yes, I think that is what I heard. Pragmatically speaking, I don’t want to raise a question without offering answers. More Bible reading, prayer, or even solitude won’t replace vulnerably approaching God and humbly requesting that He give you something He already wants to give.

So, I asked Him. I’ll keep on asking!

Satisfied (not a complacent kind, but a rich fulfilled kind).  I can’t explain it, but the hunger is there, and the hunger isn’t from me – hunger like that isn’t natural.

Blessed or Cursed?

Christmas is over and people are returning to stores, exchanging gifts or taking advantage of after- Christmas sales. Dads and moms are turning their focus to packing up the tree, lights, wrapping paper, and tinsel for next year before the New Year’s regular pace resumes. What an incredible time of the year to savor moments with family and loved ones we hold dear to our hearts!

At the turn of a New Year, I find myself thinking about what the twelve months ahead hold and all that I want to accomplish. While pondering where I am in life and experiences of the past, a thought surfaces: “Aren’t the times we think are the most cursed, truly the most blessed?”

Think about it…

That’s what I’ve been doing today, and that thought comes back to me…repeatedly.

I still remember being fresh out of college, with absolutely no experience one would deem necessary for youth ministry. Full-time ministry, in a downtown church in Canton, OH, was a struggle after leaving the close friendships of college life. I learned to be faithful to what I sensed God wanted me to do, though much of the time it felt very unpopular. When you lead in any endeavor, it can be challenging to filter out the brashest voices of disapproval. And for the next two years, I prayed for God to help me to love the battle. But when I announced my resignation after two years to pursue a ministerial education, it amazed me that the youth I served showed brokenness at my parting.  Could I have been a blessing amidst days that I thought and felt were an absolute curse in my life? Nothing against some of the great people I was serving and with whom I served! My eyes failed me in seeing what God was accomplishing amidst the personal pain of dealing with the pressures of youth ministry.

Later, my pilgrimage led me into international missions where I served in Mexico for a few years as a single missionary. It was faith-forming to trust in Biblical promises that I tried to apply to my life, when I couldn’t figure out why an “all powerful” God wouldn’t see my need for close companionship. I was so thankful for a buddy who gave me a calling card to make the thousand plus miles disappear, at least a little, when I called my parents or other close friends. At the time, it was a trying existence as I struggled to communicate in Spanish, with ease, from my heart. Opportunities for deep relationships that could lead to a marriage were unavailable. The loneliness of those years, when I wasn’t able to talk to people in my heart language, wasn’t what I’d describe as healthy. The situation left me void of sensing blessings that were obvious. But, in our weakness, God is strong! I’m still in touch with many of the youth I served in that church in Irapuato, a city of central Mexico, and it still thrives as a place where lives are encouraged and transformed. Since I experienced a prolonged singleness, it gave me backbone for waiting in other seasons of my life. Humiliating experiences outside of my own comfort zone have provided backbone to endure through subsequent challenges. So, was all that I experienced a curse or a blessing?

At present, I’m a stay at home, full-time father. Friends with career success have told me that I’m in a privileged position. Most would consider a season of life without employment that shoulders the bulk of the bills in a household, a curse. The obvious blessing is that my wife has a job that cares for the financial obligations. We’ve learned to live at a much simpler level and practice thriftiness. We plan to invest and give at higher levels when greater employment opportunity comes along. Paramount in all of this -- I’m sensing I TRULY am blessed. I’m beginning to give up my angst about professional development and surrender fretting about the unemployment to God. After all, I’ve heard that He works for my good, and HE makes even what you or I might consider to be a curse, an incredible blessing. Looking forward to 2012!

Convinced -- that if I prevail, in faith, through the seemingly unfortunate experiences of life, even greater benefits await me on the other side. The greater the misfortune is felt, the greater the chance that perseverance in faith can turn the season into unimaginable blessings.

Do you feel cursed? It may be the door to your greatest blessing.

Romans 8:28  “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”